The Power of Perception

8 Keys to Improve Your Power of Perception

In most cases we don’t need to change our world we just need to change our perception of it. If you haven’t worked it out already, our perception becomes our reality. We experience the world according to the way we choose to see it and become what we think or perceive. Perception is powerful and all powerful creators work with perception.

Unfortunately all too often we limit ourselves by not examining our perceptions and beliefs. We hold onto the same old beliefs and perceptions we have always had, and not surprisingly nothing changes. We see this with weight loss. For example, because most people hold on to the belief that  weight loss is difficult they automatically assume they will never lose weight. The create this reality. If they could only become aware that their limiting belief systems pose one of the biggest barriers to getting the body they want.

Unfortunately, while it is easier and more economical to change our perceptions, most of us are so entrenched in the belief systems feeding our perception, that we take the harder route. We stay stuck, doing the “same stuff, different day routine”, over and over again, day after day.

I recently attended a Stuart Wilde conference that focused on the power of perception. Stuart Wilde, is a globally recognized personal growth guru and he provided the following tips in relation to managing perception in a proactive way.

Stuart Wilde’s first tip was to cultivate detachment

 If we can cultivate detachment in response to life’s ups and downs in stead of reacting, we’d have fewer excuses to eat emotionally.

We act out of our subconscious habits and get steamed up about so many things that are not really worth getting stewed up about. We react when things or people don’t behave the way we want them to, and resist change. But, when you think about it, life is full of cycles, highs and lows, good and bad, seasons coming, seasons going. The constant in life is change.

In the weight loss arena many weight loss aspirants blame their relapses on their reactions to life stressors. They become completely caught up in the stress of the moment and forget about healthy habits. They make comments like,  “I had too many family problems to think about sticking to my weight loss plan.” Or “I was too busy at work to focus on my eating and exercise”.

Learning to detach from life’s ups and downs helps commitment to making life a permanent healthy habit.

Stuart Wilde’s Second Tip is Stop Whingeing & Whining

Mr Wilde says we need to train ourselves not to complain or insist. Instead he recommended the path of least resistance, namely forgiveness, acceptance, benevoloence.

Resistance makes things persist. As life is full of trials and tribulations, Mr Wilde advises us to ‘roll with the punches’, ‘go with the flow’, and stop reacting as much as we do. Certainly, more weight would be lost if people stopped whingeing and whining and just got on with making their lives a healthy habit.

Stuart Wilde’s Third Tip, Leave the Past in the Past

Mr Wilde emphasises the obvious fact that we cannot change the past. He advises us to put negative events behind us and minimize there impact with statements like “there’s another one down”!

Lack of forgiveness about past events is  ‘a prison we put ourselves in’. What is the point of being angry or upset about something that is in the past and we can do nothing about. Why not free ourselves and stop wasting energy on anger, anxiety and depression about the past.

Release the past by focusing yourself on how you feel right now. Similarly, don’t wonder about the future. We often spend too much time lamenting the past and dreading the future, or alternatively thinking about how fabulous things were in the past, how awful they are right now and fantasizing the future. Instead of being here right now, we are living in another time.

As they say, the way to look after the future is to function efficiently in the now.

Stuart Wilde’s Fourth Tip is Clear Your Slates, Let Go of Unnecessary Things and Thoughts, Make Space

Mr Wilde said that we can set ourselves free by removing events and circumstances that cause us to build and experience resistance, stress and anger. “Remove yourself from the agony of life,” he suggests.

He said, “You don’t need to know things, that is only the mind.”  It is the mind that cannot mind its own business. It is the mind that convinces you how it thinks things need to be. Mr Wilde says the mind is like a kid, “I want it, and I want it now!” Relax, he says.

Mr Wilde implores us to find ways to liberate ourselves from traps like ‘the mortgaged house syndrome’ and other situations that cause us to feel trapped. Now, while that sounds like a great idea, he didn’t exactly say how!

Stuart Wilde’s Fifth Tip was to Practise Loving Kindness, Don’t Feed Fear & Be the Best You Can Be

“Adore everyone, but especially yourself,” Mr Wilde said.  He said, “By practising loving kindness and meditating we can develop a new intuition, and move out of the insanity of our lives.”

He says that not treating people kindly is a form of polluting the earth.

Mr Wilde says that humans are too cruel to themselves and others. He advises us to practise kindness, loving kindness. He said to look at ourselves with kindness and to forgive ourselves and then others. He advised that we line all the people we need to forgive in our meditation and let them go. Make peace with everyone, he said. “I forgive you,” “I liberate you”.

There is an Hawaiian practice called Ho’oponopono that goes like this:

I love you

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

Thankyou

Use this technique to liberate yourself and your relationships. Compassion and forgiveness have been proven to have measurable effects on our health and happiness. We all need to practise these actions more often.  Mr Wilde emphasized that there is a possibility for us to set ourselves free, from our minds, our relationships etc

He said, “If you are not scared of anything then it won’t be scared of you. Don’t be safe, be serene. Be serene in your anxiety.” To ensure the journey of life is more emotionally pain free Stuart Wilde says we must be scrupulously honest, especially about our feelings because the only thing that exists is our feelings.

Mr Wilde says to make our feelings more pure, we need to try and become less self-focused, less negative. He acknowledges that it is painful for us to look at our own “stuff”, but it is not good to assume you are “squeaky clean”. We are all works in progress.

Scientists say we are vibrational beings. So, every second we can try to resonate purity, serenity and focus love into the hearts of others. This will cause us to vibrate positively. Mr Wilde says, “Be observant and every day try to be better. Try to change a little everyday. Don’t gossip. Being spiteful is not normal. Lack of warmth is not good. Cruelty is not good. Trying to dominate others is not good.” Stuart Wilde said to exercise care in our relationships because often we hurt those who are closest.

He said, “There are no guarantees, so get rid of your frequent flyer points and the other things you hold on to”!  Mr Wilde believes that if you cultivate “the equanimity of an evolved being inside you, you heal.”

Stuart Wilde’s Sixth Tip is Manage Your Relationships

Mr Wilde advises us to “Rise above the insanity of daily life and relationships that are painful. Let them go.”

He said people often settle for being second in a relationship.  Alternatively, he warned that some people do not honour the person they are with. He described some males as sexual predators, preying on women. Similarly, he said some women use males for support, protection and money.

Mr Wilde cautioned us to watch out for physical and emotional violence in our relationships. He said that if you use your anger against others it is unfair. He gave the example of when women fire hatred and jealousy at others, or when males suppress anger because they have no money or are not admired.

Mr Wilde encourages us to love and care for people we are in relationships with regardless of how good they are. However, he countered that this does not mean we need to stay in abusive relationships.  He goes on to tell us to avoid discrimination, cheating people and disdain for a particular body type. Accept all people, and all forms. Don’t play games and apply anger to others.

While Mr Wilde says it is great to perform loving acts he says that to do it to impress or earn brownie points is not the correct motivation. Like all personal growth gurus he cautions that “what you give out you get back”.  Offer respect to all humanity, including in our relationships.  “Be mindful of everyone”, he says. “Blow love into their hearts”.

Stuart Wilde’s Seventh Tip is to Be Clear about What you Want

Are your problems real or are they an illusion, something you have magnified or perceived incorrectly?

Mr Wilde cautions us to look at your situation rationally before setting goals. Be clear about what you want because how many people work hard for what they want and don’t want it when they get it?

I see many, many people achieve their goal weight and then quickly regain everything they lost. If the weight loss was really what they wanted, why didn’t they keep it? Perhaps the things they thought weight loss would give them were not really contingent on weight loss? For example, while one may think they are more likely to find a loving relationship if they are slim, or improve the one they have, improving or having a good relationship is not weight dependent.

Never forget that success is largely determined by addressing the obstacles to success.

Stuart Wilde’s Eighth Tip is Meet, greet and work with your shadow

We all have a shadow. Our shadow is usually that part of us that we don’t wish to identify with, the negative part, the part we like to hide.  Some people differentiate between our dark shadow and the white shadow. The white shadow is the dark shadow masked as a goody-goody two shoes.  White Shadow archetypes include: the policeman, Florence nightingale, the magical healer, perfect mother, protector, advisor etc.  Dark Shadow archetypes include: the jealous husband, the manipulative wife, the thief, the conman etc

I see white shadows come out in relation to weight loss relapse. A common one I see is the perfect mother and wife who must put her family before her own health needs. Or, the provider who is too busy working to support the family to meet his or her own health and emotional needs.

White shadows can be real obstacles to weight loss success, so be aware of them!