Learning To Say NO!

Have you ever said YES, when you really wanted to say NO?

Have you agreed to accept dessert to avoid upsetting the hostess, even though you were actively trying to lose weight?

Have you ever helped someone out, not because you really wanted to, but because you were not assertive enough to say NO or worried you would appear selfish if you refused?

Have you ever agreed to attend something or go somewhere you really didn’t want to go but felt too obligated or guilt-ridden to say NO. Do you people please more than pleasing yourself?

Well, you are not alone!

Instead of ‘being who we want to be’ we often end up trying to be who we think others or society want us to be. And, why? Well, there are many reasons. Read on to see which one relates to you.

You are afraid of upsetting others.

You don’t like conflict.

You worry about what others think of you.

You worry about what people will say about you.

You establish patterns that make others more important than yourself. For example, some people think that good mothers put their children first, good wives put their husbands first, and good husbands put their families first and so on.

Some of you assume that by saying yes today you can make up for it tomorrow! An example may include accepting another beer after work instead of going home for a walk because you can always walk tomorrow. Alternatively you may have fish and chips from the local takeaway instead of going home and cooking because you always have tomorrow to practise healthy habits!

Our inability to say NO, and not be who we truly want to be, or the best we can be, is one of our biggest obstacles to life success, and better health. Saying NO only defers the inevitable.

Apparently eccentrics live longer. And, why? They don’t care what others think. They are not afraid of being who they want to be. Similarly, people with more self-discipline and who develop the ability to say NO to unhealthy or unhelpful habits, lose more weight and achieve better health and well-being!

So, what is the solution?

Simple. Learn to say NO!

Read on for examples of how to say NO.

NO thanks, I don’t need it!

NO, but thanks for thinking of me.

NO thankyou. Not this time. But, thanks for the invitation.

I’d prefer NOT to. Thank you for asking.

I’m unable to accept at this time.

Thankyou, but NO.

Sorry, but NO. I am not available.

I’m sorry, I am NOT able to do that.

Read on for more tips on helping you to learn to say NO:

• Deliver your “no statement” in a clear and firm way. Say it with conviction, not in a wishy-washy, apologetic way.
• Remember that saying NO can honour you. It puts you first. Saying NO is empowering. Never forget, “If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will”
• If you cannot say NO at the time a request is made learn a phrase like,
  • “I’d like to think about that before I commit myself” or,
  • “Can I just think that over”, or
  • “Let me check my schedule or confer with family members before I commit”, or
  • “I’m not sure, let me get back to you”
  We hope this post has been helpful in giving you tips to say no. If you have any more tips on being able to say no that we can share with our other readers please post them as a comment.

Health is Wealth!